Lesson 10: Should you accept his character?
(The questions will be divided in several short videos)
1. A guy that doesn’t see his kids
2. A guy that contradicts himself
3. I find out they have had a bad past
4. He has lots of female friends
5. Still has dinner with his ex talks often about other women / how his exes were hot
6. When I surprise him taking a look at other women’s profiles on social media
7. When I stay in a relationship because I like him but feel he’s draining my energy
8. A man that feels they need to tell me they are a real man when he isn’t looking after himself
9. A man who snores I had a boyfriend I wanted to see, he always leave me with uncertainty about when he was coming. I hated that because I was waiting or leaving free space in my calendar for him. So disappointed when he could n it come finally (always in last minute ).
10. How to say clear boundaries? When my partner’s behaviour was unacceptable: swearing, fast driving, argueing with some of our friends. I didn’t know how to react and communicate that I didn’t feel safe.
11. When I go under a vulnerable situation and he shows emotionally distant
12. A comment he said goes against what I believe in spiritually or religiously, knowing that I study these disciplines
13. When he wants to date / sleep with other people and I don’t.
14. He’s always on the phone during dates
15. When it is a long distance relationship and he only travels if he has another plan or errand to run nearby
16. When he promises me something and forgets
17. When he claims he’s a feminist but laughs to his friends’ sexist jokes
18. When he does not apologize for a mistake
19. When he does not accept my apologies when I make a mistake
20. When I know, he’s lying
21. When my boyfriend is super spontaneous, and I prefer to have everything planned, so I would like to have our date planned down to the minute, a week in advance, written in the calendar (haha), but I know he does it in a different way. It’s just safe for me to plan them a little more in advance.
22. When he is rude to wait staff or service staff when we are out
23. He prioritises a personal task over a joint goal
24. When he uses threats to “convince” me to do what he wants
25. When he talks too much about himself and WhatsApp conversations always evolve around him
26. When he smokes / drinks too much alcohol
27. When the work is more important for him and I should understand
28. When he is a negative person and always talks negatively
29. When he wants to see me constantly and is pissed off if I don’t have time
30. When he’s acting jealous and controlling after only 2 dates
31. Swears in front of me (I dont use swear words but it’s common on my country) Is late to dates and leaves me waiting consistently.
32. Asks me out out of dates last minute without much notice
33. Forgetful or seems uncaring about important events in my life
34. When my partner is writing to me I feel controlled like a child
35. When they don’t share their children (if they already have children), friends or family with me.
36. If they keep having their profile active on dating apps and we are “together”.
37. If they cheat on me.
38. If they don’t spend important days (like birthdays, bank holidays, etc.) with me.
39. When he makes dirty jokes about sex / women with family and friends
Lesson 11: Boundaries when you don’t feel respected
(The questions will be divided in several short videos)
1. Respecting my priorities, free time, friends, activities.
2. When he puts me down because of my hobbies and makes fun of them
3. When he wants me to change the way I dress (a guy once told my friend that she shouldn’t wear mini skirts because she hasn’t got the legs for it)
4. When he makes comments about my family
5. When he tells me to be more secure
6. When he makes jokes about something he knows I feel insecure about
7. When he tells me how I should feel, like how I should stay in the present etc.
8. When he places more importance on what another woman thinks.
9. When he says he’s too busy for me but hang out with others especially women
10. How to say “what you just said to me was hurtful and I don’t deserve to be treated like this?” For example one guy used to be like “i don’t like the way you smell ” ie my essential oil perfume. Or that I was too tall. Or that he wasn’t ready yet to tell me he liked me. Yes LIKE not LOVE!! Just doing it in an insensitive way. How do I stand up for myself?
11. How to say no I don’t need to defend myself by answering all of your questions about why I am a certain way (usually some form of criticism).
12. I don’t feel valued. when he makes you feel like what you do for work isn’t enough
13. When I don t like how someone is talking to me, aggressively.
14. When someone makes a comment about you or women that is derogatory
15. When he laughs about a trait of mine that’s actually related to my cultural background
16. When he does not appreciate my efforts in pursuing a career
17. When he criticizes me in front of people
18. When he talks about our private life without my consent
19. When he patronizes me due to our age gap
20. He continues to one-up me versus being in a partnership or finding a way to push his agenda onto me
21. When he speaks derogatorily or is critical of me
22. When he’s inconsiderate of my sleep/rest schedule
23. Talks over me
24. Name-calling
25. Does not respect my space
26. When they surprise you with meeting family after you said you weren’t ready.
27. When you feel he is not caring for your emotional need to be heard
28. When you don’t drink alcohol or don’t eat something and he insists because “it is something you do occasionally”
29. When you don’t share some of his jokes about your job or some of your family members
30. When he manipulates me and criticizes me, for example when I say that I felt alone in a specific situation
31. When he gives me tips for things where I don’t see a problem
32. He wants me to lose weight but is constantly ordering pizza
33. He talks badly about my hobby
Lesson 12: Friends or lovers?
1. When we are just friends but I want to make him change his mind and spend months or years on doing so
2. When we are just friends but he wants more and I know it’s not going to happen
3. This may sound off topic but how do I OPEN a boundary that I have put up against nice guys???!!!
4. How to set the boundary to be more willing to get to know a man as a friend? I know there are guys out there who are sincere, decent human beings. Available men. But I’m rarely instantly physically attracted to them.